The November 25th Adoption Book of the Day – “I Don’t Have Your Eyes”

The Adoption Book of the Day for today is “I Don’t Have Your Eyes” by Carrie A. Kitze! This children’s book addresses the topic of “belonging” that many transracial and transcultural adoptees face. In the prelude of the book, Carrie Kitze explains that, “connections are vitally important to children as they begin to find their place in this world.” Many adoptees find these connections hard to create because visual and physical differences separate them from their loved ones. This book is a solution to this problem. This book, “celebrates differences within families as well as the similarities that connect them. This book is written as a series of sentences that

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The November 14th Adoption Book of the Day – “Attachment Parenting: Developing Connections and Healing Children”

The Adoption Book of the Day for today is “Attachment Parent: Developing Connections and Healing Children”!Thanks Michele Fried for this great review! If you live in Western New York, you are lucky to have Dr. Becker-Weidman and the Center for Family Development located here. Right in the heart of Williamsville, NY, Dr. Becker-Weidman and his team provide a comprehensive approach to adoptees and their families. The author of many books on the topic of attachment, this book Attachment Parenting describes a comprehensive approach to parenting children who have had a traumatic history. I was going to re-write the description of the book in my own words but honestly, felt the

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Adoption Book of the Day – “ABC Adoption & Me”

Today’s Tapestry Books Adoption Book of the Day is ” ABC Adoption & Me” by Gayle Swift with Casey Swift. An adoptive coach/mother wrote this award-winning picture book with her now-adult daughter. It captures the child’s perspective and explores the spectrum of adoption. One adoptee commented: “This shows adoption from the kid’s side and made me feel normal.” Using the familiar concept of the ABCs, it helps children explore complicated material. ABC makes it easy to talk about the serious and often difficult parts of adoption. The book helps raise a family’s “AQ” (Adoption-attuned Quotient) and make a healthy adoption dialog a normal and safe topic, one parents need not dread

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Orphanage Care

It is common for children who have been adopted (in particular at an older age and those adopted from institutional care) to display a developmental age different from their chronological age. A child’s chronological age is their age based on their date of birth. A child’s developmental age is the age at which they function emotionally, physically, cognitively and socially. A child may be five years old at the time of adoption, but developmentally they may display behaviors that make them seem much younger. Understanding that there is often a difference between a child’s chronological and developmental age at the time of adoption, and for a period of time after

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Orphanage Care: When Your Child Comes Home

by Megan Montgomery It is impossible to offer a nurturing environment that meets the needs of each individual child within an orphanage. No orphanage is capable of providing the same quality of care as a family. With that said, each orphanage will be different. Orphanages have varying levels of financial support, staff dedication and additional resources. Even the most dedicated staff will struggle without the other two and vice versa, without dedicated staff no amount of money or resources in the world could make up for quality staff. OrphanageCareChild-to-care-giver ratios in orphanages are often seriously disproportioned. Whether there are 9 children or 19 per one caregiver, there will inevitably be

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Becoming a Multicultural Family

by Megan Montgomery Helping your adopted child connect with their birth culture pays dividends. When you choose to adopt internationally the odds are great that you are adding diversity to your family. With this choice you are also making the decision to accept, value and participate in another culture-–your child’s birth culture. A few helpful reminders as you embark on such a task: Your depiction of your child’s birth culture will influence how they view themselves and where they came from. Your knowledge of your child’s birth culture will help you to answer questions your child has as they grow. Your commitment to incorporating your child’s birth culture into your

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Waiting Child Adoption from China

by Megan Montgomery The China adoption program has been placing children with additional needs and older children with interested families for a number of years. This path to adoption from China has often been called Waiting Child adoption or Special Needs adoption. Over the last couple of years, this process has evolved significantly. Today, families considering adopting a waiting child (a child who is older or has known medical needs) from China have multiple options when adopting a waiting child. The more traditional path includes registering with an agency, submitting the dossier, and then being matched through the agency with a child who is waiting. A second option is for

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Thoughts on Re-homing from an Adoption Professional

by Megan Montgomery The media has recently been covering the topic of “re-homing.”  Re-homing occurs when an adoptive family locates someone else to take in and care for their child without checking into the new family’s history, completing background checks, or involving their adoption agency or other legal entities in the change of custody.  Interestingly, the term “re-homing” is not familiar to many within the adoption community. I think most people felt speechless when they first read the articles. How could anyone leave a child with a complete stranger? What would possess someone to think this was the best option? Certainly, desperate people will do desperate things, but this seems

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Become an Advocate for Your Child’s Education

by Megan Montgomery As a new school year approaches many parents are out purchasing school supplies, making sure the perfect backpack is picked out and are reading books about the first day of school to help their child get familiar or reacquainted with this school thing. However, for some parents, back to school time might be filled with anxiety and an overwhelming uncertainty of how their child will perform this year. Post-institutionalized children in particular are at a high risk for school related difficulties.  Developmental delays, language and learning disabilities are common in such children.  Post Adoption research indicates that a developing child’s progress is directly proportional to factors such

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When and How to Discuss Adoption with Children Already in the Home

by Michele Fried When: When to tell a child already in the home that you are planning to adopt is an answer you will need to decide on your own.  This is very personal and it also depends on the age and development of your child(ren) at home as well as their personalities. For very young children such as toddlers and preschoolers, it may be best to wait until you are more certain an adoption may take place.  Mostly because a very young child will ask daily, “when will the baby come home?”  Look at the “how” suggestions below and cover these with your young child, but be aware to

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