Coincidence or Divine Intervention

by Michele Fried Years ago, I wrote an article that stemmed from a family conversation about whether things are simply coincidence or fate. I interviewed several clients on the topic and ended up with so much more then I expected. In my field of work, it is one where miracles “seem” to happen. I simply have witnessed some pretty extraordinary events. However, rather than sharing my own experiences or those I have seen, let me share the collection of experiences that clients shared with me on the debate between “coincidence or divine intervention” ~ which is it? The Power of Prayer An anonymous adoptive mom wrote, “I wanted to be a

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Search: 10 Questions to Ask

By Hollee McGinnis aka Lee Hwa Young As adult adoptees our adoptions did not end the day we were placed in the waiting arms of our adoptive parents. It was only the beginning of our lifelong journey of self-discovery and the very beginning of our adoption journey. Our adoption journeys have not always been clear, nor have they been simple. Often we fumbled unknowingly in the dark, but today adoptees have an unprecedented opportunity to share the wisdom gained from our individual experiences. The decision to search for one’s birth parents is one of the many milestones in our adoptions. Although we might try to create a road map based

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Listening to Adult Adoptees

by Terra Trevor A Lesson for Adoptive Parents Often it takes place within a discussion on an adoption e-list. Recently it happened again at a breakout session at an adoption conference. My friend Jennifer sits down across from me and begins talking with an adoptive mother. Both Jennifer and the woman’s 11-year-old daughter are adopted from Korea. “Where did you grow up, and what about the guys you date?” The mother asks, looking over the tops of her reading glasses. She raises her eyebrows. “Do you go out with Asians?” Jennifer freezes. She sighs and shrugs her shoulders, her expression so dramatically changes across her face like a rain cloud

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Affirming the Hurt Adoptee’s Reality

by Gregory C. Keck, PhD The trauma of hurt children who go into adoptive homes is often so dramatic that the adults involved in the situation cannot deal with it. I believe that is why parents and social workers focus too much on what few “positives” there are about hurtful birth parents, and inadvertently minimize the truth for the child. Time after time, I see nicely constructed lifebooks with nice pictures of people from the child’s early life. That’s fine – especially if one is trying to create good feelings. However, the stark reality is that if everyone at home was always smiling around the birthday cake or playing nicely

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