The Cycle of Bonding

by Gregory C. Keck and Regina M. Kupecky There is a common children’s verse that says, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” For the abused child, nothing could be further from the truth. While the effects of physical abuse usually heal over time, the psychological insults experienced by the child bring deep, long lasting pain. These wounds fester within, creating ongoing difficulties for both the child and the adoptive family. Many adoptive children did not experience early childhood trauma, neglect or abuse. The issues these children face are issues common to all children, along with issues related directly to adoption. But for adoptive

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Affirming the Hurt Adoptee’s Reality

by Gregory C. Keck, PhD The trauma of hurt children who go into adoptive homes is often so dramatic that the adults involved in the situation cannot deal with it. I believe that is why parents and social workers focus too much on what few “positives” there are about hurtful birth parents, and inadvertently minimize the truth for the child. Time after time, I see nicely constructed lifebooks with nice pictures of people from the child’s early life. That’s fine – especially if one is trying to create good feelings. However, the stark reality is that if everyone at home was always smiling around the birthday cake or playing nicely

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