The November 19th Adoption Book of the Day – “The Post-Adoption Blues”

The Adoption Book of the Day for today is “The Post Adoption Blues: Overcoming the Unforeseen Challenges of Adoption” by Karen J. Foli and John R. Thompson! While many reviews call this book depressing or a “downer”, Foli and Thompson’s ability to honestly explain and describe the issues that occur after adoption takes place. The book is structured as a list of expectations that adoptive parents have once adoption has occurred. This book not only accurately defines each expectation that is listed, but also helps explain that some of these expectations are not realistic and gives solutions to adoptive parents in how to cope with the stress and frustrations that

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Happy Tears

by Michele Fried The other night I called for my kids to come kiss me goodnight … it was the three youngest kids (all teenagers) hanging out in the backyard with some of the neighborhood kids – the ones who refer to me as Mama Fried. One of them – I don’t know which – said, “Aw your mom is so cute, she always says goodnight and tells you she loves you.” “You are lucky,” said another, “I wish my parents still did that.” Teenage boys made these comments by the way, and it was my kids who told me about this while we hugged and kissed and said we

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Parenting After Older Child Adoption

by Megan Montgomery Webinars are a great way to fit a little extra learning into your day. I love to sign up for webinars related to adoption to enhance my understanding of adoption related issues and learn more about the critical things families are struggling with. Plus I do not even have to leave the comfort of my office, no one sees me eating lunch when the class falls into my lunch-time, amnd oftentimes they are free. Recently, I participated in a webinar entitled “Parenting After Older Child Adoption” with Regina Kupecky. This webinar reinforced by understanding of the various stages one might see post adoption; in the way a

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What to Expect #2: Orphanage Care

by Megan Montgomery It is virtually impossible to offer a nurturing environment that meets the needs of each individual child within an orphanage. No orphanage can provide the same quality care that a family could. With that said each orphanage will be different, orphanages have varying levels of financial support, staff dedication and additional resources. Even the most dedicated staff will struggle without the other two and vice versa, without dedicated staff no amount of money or resources in the world could make up for quality staff. Child to care giver ratios in orphanages are often seriously disproportioned. Whether there are 9 children or 19 per one caregiver, there will

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What to Expect #4: Developmental vs. Chronological age

by Megan Montgomery It is common for children who have been adopted (in particular at an older age and through International Adoption) to display a developmental age different from their chronological age. A child’s chronological age is their age based on their date of birth. Their developmental age is the age at which they function emotionally, physically, cognitively and socially. A child may be five years old at the time of adoption, but developmentally they may display behaviors that make them seem much younger. Understanding that there is often a difference between a child’s chronological and developmental age will help caregivers to have more realistic expectations for the child. You

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What to Expect #5: Post Adoption-Love at First Sight?

by Megan Montgomery Sometimes it is, but often time it’s not. Today, increasing numbers of older children are being adopted internationally, as well as more and more children with special needs. These factors can add additional hurdles to the post adoption period. No matter the age, placement of your child in your arms is such a victory. Finally, the wait time is over, finally you can get back to your life and living the “happily ever after” you dreamed of, with a cherished seed that you will watch blossom into a beautiful (or handsome) flower. But, it’s really ok if that warm fuzzy feeling isn’t there right away. Prior to

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