Adopted children may have many questions about themselves and their families. They may have hidden desires and dreams about their biological family.
What do you say to your children about their biological and adoptive families, respectively? In the past, adoptive parents were advised not to talk with a child about his/her adoption. Now, open and honest discussions is strongly suggested by adoption professionals. How you child views him or she will depend to a great degree on your explanation of the adoption process.
No matter how much you love your child and how much he loves you, he is likely to have questions – or worries – about his birth family. However you choose to explain a birth parent’s decision to choose adoption for a child, it is incumbent upon you to reaffirm that the decision was made out of love by the birth an adoptive parent(s) and by desire for the child to have a happy healthy life.
You are the best person to reassure your child that he is special an d loved, not because of what he looks like, but because of who he is. A healthy emotional life is nourished by love, honesty and support that you give your child as he begins to explore the emotional path from birth parent to his family that was created by adoption.
This book focuses on a tangible issue for adopted children- why do I look different from my adoptive parent(s)? When they look in a mirror m children can see different things, depending on how they look and what they are looking for. The adoptive parents can guide a child by supporting what he sees and suggesting that he can also look in a different place to see what family is all about- the child can look inside his heart.