A Match That Was Meant To Be

by Michele Fried

When Kristina and Malik contacted the agency we found them to be a loving couple with an unexpected pregnancy. Kristina and Malik considered their relationship good yet felt that they were not yet ready for a child financially or emotionally. Kristina, a manager of a fast food restaurant works many hours and is committed to her job and to continuing her education. Malik is also working and has higher aspirations for himself personally and professionally. Kristina and Malik are an interracial couple and were concerned that there would not be many adoptive couples to choose from interested in a biracial baby.

Kristina, though always committed to her adoption plan, was challenging to reach. It was not always appropriate to call her at work and she and Malik do not have a home telephone. But somehow time was found for pre-placement counseling and for adoptive family selection. Kristina was clear on what she was looking for in an adoptive family and profiles were sent to her. Unfortunately she and Malik were did not find the family they were hoping for. Kristina spent time with Adoption STAR identifying what she felt she wanted to find with an adoptive family.

The young couple were presented with additional profiles. Out of these, Kristina and Malik identified a couple they felt they wished to choose as parents to their soon to be born child. But Kristina was cautious and felt she wanted more time to process her decision before saying definitely that this was the couple they wanted.

Melissa, who job it is to contact prospective adoptive families before and after profiling attempted to contact Maryjane and Marty to let them know that Kristina and Malik were considering them. Instead, Maryjane called Melissa and surprised her with the information that she and Marty were pregnant. They knew they were being profiled to Kristina and Malik and hoped it wasn’t too late to pull their profile because they did not want to disappoint the birth couple. Melissa did not have the heart to tell them that the birth couple was indeed leaning to their profile, instead she very appropriately wished Maryjane well with encouraging thoughts and good wishes as Maryjane spoke of past miscarriages.

Melissa came to Michele to discuss the situation and asked Michele to try to contact Kristina and Malik to inform them of this situation and to see if there were any other profiles that they liked or if they wish to see additional profiles. After several days of attempting to reach Kristina and Malik, the agency was concerned. Kristina already was on maternity leave so she was not reachable at her work number and her emergency contact number was not answering. The agency considered sending them a letter.

Within a week a letter arrived at the agency from Kristina and Malik apologizing for not being within reach and clearly stating with pride that the family for their soon to be born daughter should be Maryjane and Marty. Just as Adoption STAR was writing a letter in response to Kristina and Malik’s letter, the telephone rang. Maryjane called and shared with Melissa that she had a miscarriage. Maryjane and Marty experienced miscarriages before and while sad, felt they would like to continue with adoption. Melissa quietly shared the story of how Kristina and Malik selected them and that we failed to reach them to tell them that they were no longer available to select due to their pregnancy. Melissa ended the story with the letter that was just opened and read.

Words can not adequately describe the path that brought these two couples together and within a few days Jillian was born. The placement couldn’t have been more special. Today Maryjane and Marty have the baby girl of their dreams and Kristina and Malik have the family they hoped for their birth daughter. It took grief and loss to bring two families together to find joy and their meant to be path.