Earlier this year, one of the most widely recognized authors and psychologists in the adoption field passed away. Gregory C. Keck, PhD., wrote the renowned adoption books: “Parenting the Hurt Child”, “Adopting the Hurt Child”, and “Parenting Adopted Adolescents” in addition various many articles. In celebration of Gregory Keck’s work, Tapestry Books would like to highlight one of his articles.
In his article “Affirming the Hurt Adoptee’s Reality”, Dr. Gregory Keck focuses on the simple fact of is telling the truth to adopted children. To the common parent, this does not come across as something a surprise; who would actually intend to lie to their children?
Keck explains that oftentimes adoptive parents focus on only the “positives” of an adoptee’s birth parents in an attempt to cope with this trauma experienced by their children. While Keck states that there is certainly nothing wrong with focusing on the good, but if parents focus only on the good, that isn’t exactly being truthful to the children. This is where the need for telling the truth to adoptees comes in.
Keck stresses that telling your child the truth about his or her past not only reinforces and validates what they have already experienced, but it also clarifies that particular child’s reality. As he explains in the article, “We need to help the child heal, and to heal, we need to be honest – even when we don’t like the truth.”
This article, along with many others written by Gregory Keck, can be read for free on Tapestry Books. The three books Dr. Keck co-authored, “Parenting the Hurt Child”, “Adopting the Hurt Child”, and “Parenting Adopted Adolescents”, can all be ordered through Tapestry Books!